Amusing quotes 1

"...Pravda (a Russian based news agency), the quality actually went DOWN after the Soviet Union fell, which impresses me"

Amusing Conversation(s) 6

Friend 1: I have to go buy some parsley, since I'm cooking my own dinner today
Friend 2: Parsley? I love parsley
Friend 1: Yeah, parsley is like the best herb to cook with
Me : Yeah, but I hate Rosemary. By the way, does anyone find it weird that three guys are talking about cooking?

Amusing Conversation(s) 5

Teacher: Teenage males report having a lot of sexual relations, while teenage females report not having a lot of sexual relations, which makes you wonder..........

Amusing Conversation(s) 4

Friend: It's a very classy game, you go around in mechs nuking Ghengis Khan. I'm George Washington by the way.

Amusing Conversation(s) 3 (Valentine's Day)

Friend 1: Roses are red, Violets are blue, now I hope you die a long and miserable death from anthrax
Friend 2: You're not very good at this, are you?

Amusing Conversations (from friends) 1

sister(6yrs old): i wanna go play cheat(the card game)
mom:you mean bullsh--?
sister:uhh, cheat
dad: its called bullsh--.


during dinner:
sister: where did the beef go?
mom: i ate the rest of it
sister: nooooooooooooo
*sister goes off to cry for a total of 3 hours - I AM NOT KIDDING.

dad: i think carla has a fever, she feels like shes 560 degrees
me: kelvin?
dad: no, rankines
(i had to google it)

while playing guitar hero:
mom: get off the 360, go do hw
me: but vacation just started
mom: i want to play

Amusing Conversations 2

Friend 1: I bet you don't even know what the word "fun" means
Friend 2: Yes I do! [To Friend 3] Quick! wiki it!

Friend 1 (a guy): I want to use the man-saw, the only people who have used the man-saw are Stephanie and Ashley, why can't I use it!?!?!?

Friend 1: No!!! you can't be gone on a test day, who's going to not answer our questions when we ask them?
(on AP exams, teachers can't answer any questions)